People often comment on my seemingly natural ability to talk to and befriend strangers. This is not something I am necessarily comfortable with, but I do excel at it in certain settings. Here are some things I noticed about myself and generally as they relate to meeting people:
- Meeting girls at bars is hard work and can be expensive! In Australia, it is much easier to befriend a guy. In America, the dynamics are a bit different and depending on the location, making small talk with another guy is a bad idea.
- Say something! Anything! The hardest part is definitely saying that first thing to someone you don't know. But unless you are being sleazy, the other person almost always responds positively and makes it easy to get a conversation going.
- Remember: ask questions. This is a skill I learned when I was a little kid and have read over and over in various books and blogs. People will remember you favorably if they remember you are a good listener, not a good talker. Still...
- Be flexible. Everyone is different, and some interactions require more effort on your part than others. You can make your random encounters more interesting by trying to understand what sort of person you are talking to: introvert/extrovert, optimist/pessimist and so on. Ask questions that might help you determine this.
- Make yourself interesting by doing stuff. Again, nearly anything you do is interesting to someone, but mainstream activities are, by definition, more likely to resonate with a random group of people. Read books. Watch a movie. Travel. But remember, don't talk about yourself too much.
- Don't go to uncomfortable places to meet people. Meet people where you are comfortable. For me, this is in shopping centres, cafes, and book stores. Notice I didn't say bars and clubs.
- Is this seat taken? (even if it clearly isn't)
- That's a cool jacket/purse/shirt/dog (even if it isn't)
- Do you know how to get to ... (even if you do)
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